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Capsule reviews by Thomas Delapa (TD) as indicated.

Against the Ropes. Born into a boxing family, Jackie Kallen (Meg Ryan) knows a winner when she sees one. Even though Luther Shaw (Omar Epps) might be a little rough around the edges, as soon as she sees him in a fight, Jackie knows he's a champion in the raw. Determined to become the First Lady of the ring, she convinces Luther that he has the talent to fight his way out of the ghetto and becomes his manager. Then, together with veteran trainer Felix Reynolds (Charles S. Dutton), Jackie and Luther fight their way to the top of the brutal boxing world. Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square.

Along Came Polly. At bottom, Along Came Polly is another broad comedy in which Ben Stiller as average schmo suffers all kinds of indignities in his quest to get the girl. Stiller is still clowning around as the butt of the jokes. To be fair, one gag comes at the expense of co-star Jennifer Aniston’s behind. Stiller is a risk-averse New Yorker whose romantic life gets a jumpstart when he meets Aniston’s scatty, salsa-dancing Polly. Flush with bathroom humor and gags about every kind of bodily discharge, writer/director John Hamburg’s comedy travels a low road, dragging at least one hand in the gutter. With Debra Messing and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square. ——TD

Big Fish. In the shallow pool of holiday movie offerings, Tim Burton’s Big Fish has surfaced as the freshest catch of the season. Spawned by a novel by Daniel Wallace, this Southern-fried fable may be just the dish for audiences who’ve had their fill of hobbits, robots and swordfights. Burton has made a rousing movie about true love, tall tales and gentle giants. You might even describe it as a small-scale version of Forrest Gump. There are at least two "big fish" in the slippery tale of Edward Bloom. One is Bloom (Albert Finney), a retired salesman who lies bedridden in his Alabama home. The story flops around in the present, but it blooms when Ewan McGregor enters as the ghost of Edward’s boyish past. With Billy Crudup, Alison Lohman and Jessica Lange. Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square, UA Village 4. ——TD

The Butterfly Effect. Ashton Kutcher came to this year’s Sundance Film Festival hoping to make a flap with The Butterfly Effect, a teen horror flick with delusions of grandeur. Accordingly, Kutcher’s attempt at a serious breakout role takes a nosedive. He plays Evan, a college student who figures out an amazingly simple way to change the past, thus altering the present. Evan’s all-consuming desire is to find a way to be with his childhood sweetheart (Amy Smart). But the more Evan tries to correct the past, the worse his present gets. In one bad scene, he lands in prison for murder, surrounded by horny Aryan skinheads. Rated R. At FlatIron Crossing. ——TD

Catch That Kid. Another Spy Kids rip-off that’s no great catch. Desperately in need of $250,000 to pay for her father’s operation, amateur rock climber Maddy (Kristen Stewart) enlists her two friends to help her rob a bank that contains what must be the most impregnable safe on the planet. The hard part for our resourceful pre-teen heroine is to con Austin (Corbin Bleu) and Gus (Max Thieriot) by secretly telling them she loves them both. The easy part is manipulating all the gullible adults around. Rated PG. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square. ——TD

Cheaper by the Dozen. The title might well be the motto of today’s crass, remake-crazy Hollywood. Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt are the proud parents of 12 kids, and the whole family circus picks up stakes when dad gets his dream job coaching football at his Chicago alma mater. The Baker family’s managed chaos turns into meltdown when mom goes out of town and dad is stuck holding the diaper bag. Hunt’s shunted aside in favor of the camera-hogging Martin, who grandfathers in his exasperated Parenthood act. The rambunctious Cheaper by the Dozen has half that many good laughs, including the sight of an unbilled Ashton Kutcher attacked by a pack of dogs after his underwear. Kutcher plays a vapid, vain TV actor, so it’s no stretch. Rated PG. At Colony Square. ——TD

Cold Mountain. At $85 million, Cold Mountain is the highest-budgeted Miramax movie ever made. Based on Charles Frazier’s best-selling novel, it boasts last year’s Best Actress Oscar winner Nicole Kidman, plus Renee Zellweger and Jude Law. But if there’s ever been a production that turned a Mountain into a molehill, this is it. The Civil War lasted four years, which seems almost as long as Mountain’s running time. Courtesy of director Anthony Minghella, audiences can get their fill of the Civil War in one turgid, 2 1/2 hour slog. Napoleon said an army marches on its stomach. You’ll need a bucket or two of popcorn to get through this death march, and you’ll still suffer from battle fatigue. Rated R. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square. ——TD

The Company. In his long career as a director, Robert Altman has trashed or subverted almost every Hollywood genre there is (or was). An unreconstructed 1960s rebel, Altman still delights in poking fun at hoary institutions. That attitude seems to drift in and out of his skewed view of the ballet world. Audiences expecting to see a spry, high-stepping treatment of modern dance may want to sit this one out. Too minimalist to be fiction, too purposely downbeat to be a documentary, The Company is a behind-the-scenes looks at Chicago’s famed Joffrey Ballet. If only the fictional element in the film were as harmonious as the dancing. Offstage, star Neve Campbell and company take a fall. With Malcolm McDowell. Rated PG—13. At Crossroads Cinema. ——TD

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Lola feels her life is simply not worth living when she moves with her family from every single thing on the planet that she loves (read: the Big Apple) and is plunked down in the middle of the cultural wasteland that is suburban New Jersey. Rated PG. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square.

The Cooler. Bernie (William H. Macy) is such a loser that he works in a Las Vegas casino as a "cooler," rubbing off his bad luck on anyone on a hot streak. But all bets are off when poor, pitiful Bernie gets lucky one night with Natalie (Maria Bello), a cocktail waitress. Director Wayne Kramer’s longshot love story has an ace in the hole, and that’s Alec Baldwin, who plays Bernie’s whack-first-and-ask-questions-later casino boss. Baldwin heats up the drama with his two-fisted tirades, going one better than the risque sex scenes between Bello and, gulp, Macy. Good looking and briskly paced, The Cooler runs hot and cold. Anytime Kramer runs out of ideas, he gratuitously deals out one shockingly violent scene after another, spoiling a pair of winning performances by Bello and Baldwin. Rated R. At Nederland Backdoor Theater. ——TD

The Dreamers. Please see Screen review. Rated NC—17. At UA Village 4, Denver’s Mayan.

Eurotrip. Have you ever pressed "Send" on an e-mail and immediately wished you could get it back? Scotty Thomas and his Berlin-based computer pen pal Mieke have been writing each other for years, sharing every detail of their lives. When Mieke makes a cyber pass at Scotty, he completely freaks out, thinking that this guy he’s known for years is coming on to him——in German no less. Too bad the the one detail Scotty doesn’t seem to know is that, in Germany, Mieke is a girl’s name. Rated R. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square.

50 First Dates. Please see Screen review. Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square, Crossroads Cinema. ——TD

Girl With a Pearl Earring. Video may be the dubious future of features, yet there’s still nothing as glorious as good-old celluloid. Just compare any shot-on-video movie with Girl With a Pearl Earring, a small gem that boasts some of the most rapturous visuals of 2003. Based on a novel by Tracy Chevalier, it’s a speculation on the relationship between the great 17th century Dutch painter, Johannes Vermeer (Colin Firth), and one of his models. Scarlett Johansson is the "Girl," forced to work as a servant in the Vermeer household. Johansson acts by simply being, and her limpid presence is for director Peter Webber almost as much an engrossing subject as the original Girl was for Vermeer. With Tom Wilkinson. Rated PG—13. At Crossroads Cinema, Denver’s Chez Artiste. ——TD

In America. Irish-born director Jim Sheridan’s autobiographical fairy tale is so misty-eyed and fragile, it almost evaporates. As co-writer, Sheridan (My Left Foot) bases his work on his experiences as an Irish immigrant in New York City. Young Christy (Sarah Bolger) narrates how her family made their way from Canada into the States by car. The Sullivan family exploits make for a touching home movie, but they fall short of filling the big screen. In place of deft writing, Sheridan leaves us with pathos. To play the two daughters, Sheridan casts two real-life sisters, Sarah and Emma Bolger. These moppets are as cute as buttons, and Sheridan uses them to push ours. With Paddy Considine and Samantha Morton. Rated PG—13. At Crossroads Cinema, Denver’s Chez Artiste. ——TD

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Director Peter Jackson’s last episode in his blockbuster Lord of the Rings trilogy is not in the least bit hobbit-forming. In fact, almost nothing in this ultimate J.R.R. Tolkien episode rings true, least of all its empty spectacle of digital special effects. Jackson picks up Tolkien’s fantasy epic with heroic hobbits Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) on the road to Mordor, where they aim to dash the One Ring into Mount Doom’s fires. Only then will the humans of Middle-earth be saved from the threat of Sauron and his hideous orc army. Jackson laboriously cuts back and forth between five or more lines of action. No character is etched with depth or detail, though one orc leader looks like the Elephant Man. The sum total is Two Towers and more of babel. With Ian McKellen and Viggo Mortenson. Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing, Cinema Saver, Colony Square. ——TD

Lost in Translation. Read between the lines in Sofia Coppola’s film and you’ll discover a tender mood-piece about the lost and dislocated feelings that envelop you as a stranger in a strange land. Bill Murray plays a hollywood star in Tokyo to shoot a TV commercial. The city itself is a prime Coppola preoccupation, and it’s been beautifully photographed to stress its guady amalgamation of East and West. The other estranged principal is Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson), who’s tagged along on a work trip with her husband (Giovanni Ribisi). Coppola leans on mood to an extreme to engage us. She tugs at that feeling of weightlessness you get when you’re in a foreign country, the sense of discovery but also the solitude. Rated R. At UA Village 4, Denver’s Esquire. ——TD

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. Stand tall on the quarterdeck, lads. Russell Crowe sails into theaters with a rugged seaworthy spectacle looks like it cost every bit its $135 million price tag. Based on Patrick O’Brian’s novels, Master and Commander is a 19th century adventure on the high seas. Peter Weir takes the directorial helm, with fellow Aussie Crowe as "Lucky Jack" Aubrey, valiant captain of the H.M.S. Surprise. What’s most masterful is the film’s stem-to-stern authenticity. For all his attention to detail, Weir misses the big picture. Master and Commander resembles nothing but a lovingly crafted, million-dollar ship in a bottle. With Paul Bettany. Rated PG—13. At Cinema Saver. ——TD

Master of the Flying Guillotine (1975). Has to be seen to be believed. A Chinese martial-arts master forgoes his fists and defends himself with the wackiest weapon ever, East or West, giving new meaning to the term "head shot." I’m still waiting for the Popeil pocket version. International Film Series. ——TD

Miracle. In one of the greatest upsets in sports history, the U.S. hockey team brought home the gold in the 1980 Winter Olympics. Am I telling something you don’t know? Unless you’ve been living in an ice cave for a few decades, the ending of Miracle is a foregone conclusion. Winning isn’t everything in this frosty instant replay of a movie, it’s the only thing. The question faced by director Gavin O’Connor and his Disney writers was how to render surprise to the famed "Miracle on Ice" saga. The irony is that coach Herb Brooks (Kurt Russell) beats into his players the idea they must think and act like a team. But then O’Connor puts his focus almost entirely on Brooks while relegating the players to strictly back-up roles. Rated PG. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square, UA Village 4. ——TD

Monster. Charlize Theron is one of Hollywood’s most camera-friendly actresses. So why would she gain 30 pounds, put on false teeth and take on truly one of the most unpleasant roles in recent years, that of Florida serial killer Aileen Wourmos? That’s only one of the questions stalking Monster, a modern-day horror movie with neither hero nor heroine. The scariest part might be that it was produced at all. Theron has been praised for her metamorphic performance. There’s not a trace of her lithe sex appeal that spiffed up last year’s Italian Job. Her Wuornos is a big, gawky woman lacking all physical and social graces. But here lies the problem: You are so focused on Theron, the movie fades into the background. With Christina Ricci. Directed by Patty Jenkins. Rated R. At Crossroads Cinema, Denver’s Mayan. ——TD

Mystic River. There’s drama, and then there’s melodrama. "Melodrama" literally means music plus drama. Or in the case of Mystic River, the ingredients are drama plus overblown acting. It’s no mystery why Clint Eastwood’s male weepie has gotten such a flood of critical applause. It’s a film with big emotions and timely themes, abetted by a cast led by Sean Penn. In blue-collar Boston, a girl’s murder tragically reunites childhood friends Jimmy (Penn), Dave (Tim Robbins) and Sean (Kevin Bacon). Eastwood encourages Penn to overact, and Penn Method-ically responds with the enthusiasm of the amateur talents in Waiting for Guffman. Eastwood’s plot is deep with promise; it’s his grandiose direction that sends Mystic River to the rocks. Rated R. At FlatIron Crossing, Crossroads Cinema. ——TD

The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) One of the last gasps of the silent era, Carl Dreyer’s classic presents, in a staggering series of close-ups, Joan’s trial before her inquisitors. For the role of the 15th-century French saint, the Danish director chose Maria Falconetti, a stage actress whose performance as the anguished Joan testifies to Dreyer’s exacting, even tyrannical, methods. Against a looming array of court accusers, the beatific Joan stands alone, with only the sympathetic Massieu (Antonin Artaud) as her ally. At Boulder Public Library. ——TD

Pieces of April. April (Katie Holmes) is having a bad day——and the day happens to be Thanksgiving. Long the black sheep of her family, April has set for herself the daunting task of cooking Thanksgiving dinner for her parents and two siblings, who are dubiously en route to her scruffy Manhattan flat by car. The Murphy’s Law of cooking is at work in writer/director Peter Hedges’ bittersweet comedy. Everything that can go wrong for April does, the worst of it when her oven goes on the blink. Dysfunction is the menu of the day, not only in April’s cooking calamities but in her motoring family, beset with the ranting, pot-smoking antics of Mom (Patricia Clarkson). Shot off-the-cuff on drab video, Hedges’ holiday-flavored morsel is tasty, if not especially filling. With Oliver Platt. Rated PG—13. At International Film Series. ——TD

Something’s Gotta Give. Jack’s back, and Diane’s got him. Jack Nicholson returns as another lady-killer, a New York playboy with a Viagra-dependent yen for younger women. But Jack’s bias against middle-aged ladies gets the best of him when he meets Keaton, playing the uptight mother of one his girlfriends. Nicholson and Keaton click in director Nancy Meyers’ up-and-down romantic comedy, which gets its revenge on Nicholson’s off-screen image as Hollywood lothario. Keaton delivers her best performance in years as Erica, a successful playwright who thought she had written off love forever. After a flying start, Myers gets lazy and lets the comedy coast. Finally, the something that gives in Something’s Gotta Give is Myers’ good sense of direction. With Amanda Peet and Keanu Reeves. Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing. ——TD

The Triplets of Belleville. Sylvain Chomet’s nearly wordless cartoon adventure might be the French counterpart of a Jerry Lewis movie. For the few that will love it, as many more will be baffled three times over. Count me in the latter camp. Triplets tells how roly-poly Madame Souza valiantly journeys to the dangerous land of Belleville to rescue her bicycling grandson, who’s shanghaied by a band of square-shouldered gangsters. Chomet’s animation is quaintly detailed, but this strange voyage in anything but bon. Rated PG—13. At UA Village 4, Denver’s Mayan. ——TD

21 Grams. From Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Amorese Perros) comes a weighty drama about life, death and blind fate. Inarritu tells a jagged, non-temporal story about a handful of stangers all connected by a tragic car accident. Naomi Watts is superb as the anguished woman whose husband dies in the accident. Sean Penn is the dying man waiting for a heart transplant. Benicio Del Toro is the go-between, an ex-convict who’s found Jesus. Inarritu’s challenging structure forces us to see the connections between these people, backpedaling at times to repeat events. His tone is raw and pessimistic, especially regarding American violence and religion. Despite the superior acting by Watts and the ensemble, the heavyhanded ending tips the movie down into melodrama. Rated R. At Boulder Theater, Denver’s Chez Artiste. ——TD

Touching the Void. In 1985, British climbers Joe Simpson and Simon Yates did the impossible: They scaled Peru’s treacherous 21,000 foot Siula Grande peak. What’s more, they did it "alpine style" in one marathon climb. Simpson and Yates’ epic ascent was tripped up by one small detail: They got lost on their way down. Sooner of later, you had to figure a producer would come calling to put their survival saga on film. This high-altitude hybrid of documentary and fiction loses its footing well before anyone gets to the top. Audiences are left stranded with some marvelous alpine photography surrounding the actors, whose athleticism is matched by their stiff——and frozen——upper lips. Rated PG—13. At Crossroads Cinema, Denver’s Esquire. ——TD

Vampyr (1932). Carl Dreyer’s horror film is one of the most perfect examples of German Stimmung——mood——in the cinema. Shooting at a derelict French chateau, Dreyer and cameraman Rudolph Mate tell the strange story of David Gray, a young traveler who wanders into a village silently terrorized by a vampire preying on young women. The bad dubbing and somnabulistic acting only enhance the expressionist visuals. There are few more intellectually harrowing scenes in the horror canon than Gray’s nightmare journey by casket shot from his own point-of-view. At Boulder Public Library. ——TD

Waking Life (2001). For all of its ability to reproduce the real world, the cinema is also uniquely able to replicate the imagery of dreams. Richard Linklater is not the first filmmaker to discover cinema’s affinity for the surreal. This audacious movie may put some people to sleep; for others, it’ll be a wakeup call on the possibilities of screen storytelling. Relying on computer techniques, Linklater’s illustrators painted over live footage, creating a "colorized" cartoon out of real images. This ephemeral palette is Linklater’s approximation of a dream, specifically that of its hero, a young man (Wiley Wiggins) who’s having trouble waking up. Rated R. At International Film Series. ——TD

Welcome to Mooseport. The quiet small town of Mooseport sees some major personality clashes in this comedy, where the candidates for mayor include both a plumber (Ray Romano) and the former president of the country (Gene Hackman). On top of that rivalry, there’s the romantic race to win the local heartthrob (Maura Tierney). Rated PG—13. At FlatIron Crossing, Colony Square.

WEEKLY VIDEO PICK

Runaway Jury (2003). The verdict is in: Not only does Rachel Weisz hold her own against Oscar winners Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman in the John Grisham courtroom thriller, but the British actress walks away as a bonafide star. Weisz can be smart, tough and sexy, a potent combination that would court favor with any audience. Though sabotaged by director Gary Fleder’s glitzy visual style, the dream-team cast salvage a victory for themselves, if not for the movie as a whole. Playing both sides against the other, Weisz slinks into action during a high-profile New Orleans trial pitting a righteous attorney (Hoffman) against a gun manufacturer and a ruthless jury consultant (Hackman). Co-starring John Cusack. Rated PG—13. ——TD