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Slick Willie You hear a lot about sex lubes these days. There are two reasons. One is because the former "love generation" is starting to hot-flash its way into assisted living. So things like lube and Viagra can be sexual lifesavers. The other reason is because among younger generations, home sex-toy parties have taken the place of Tupperware and Amway. Sex lubes and sex toys have given direct marketers a new way to stick it to us, or into us. So, in today's column, I will be discussing some of the more interesting things about sex lubes, and whether you need them or not. It seems that some women get yeast infections because of the glycerin in sex lubes. Sex lubes use glycerin because it helps make them feel more slick, and it apparently helps keep them from drying out so fast. The problem with glycerin is that it's similar to glucose. In a woman's vagina, glucose is one of the things that yeast feeds on, and too much of it can help create an annoyingly robust yeast colony between a lady's legs. So if you are prone to yeast infections, or if you have diabetes or are immunosuppressed, consider using a sex lube without glycerin. Fortunately, there are highly regarded lubes like "Liquid Silk" that don't contain glycerin, and some people like the feel of them better than lubes that do use glycerin. From my own perspective, I've never felt anything as lube-like in my life as the slime that the banana slugs in our lower pasture trail behind them. You could go at it for an entire week on a single drop of banana-slug goo, but I'm thinking it might not be such an easy sell. Still, they could put it in little brown plastic containers that were molded to look just like banana slugs. The side could say: "Genuine, 100 percent natural and organic banana-slug sex goo!" Next, there's the issue of spit versus store-bought sex lube. I've started hearing horror stories about using spit for sex lube—mostly from people who just happen to sell store-bought lube. The trouble is, I don't know of a single scientific study that compares the efficacy, safety and value of using store-bought lube over spit. So from what I can tell, any stories pro or con are just that, stories. But what if using spit for sex lube is doing something really, really bad, like decreasing the intelligence of each new generation that was born while papa hocked one up and smeared it on himself before putting it inside of mamma? At least it would help explain what's been going on in Washington. OK, so what if you are using a condom, or if you and your partner live three-hours apart and cram three months of sex into three-day weekends, or what if your body doesn't make as much lube as it used to, or if you and your partner secretly commit the filthy sin of sodomy in the privacy of your own home? Then you, my friends, should consider using store-bought sex lube. As for the different brands, you can't hear enough KY-bashing these days. Again, it's difficult to know whether this is because the new KY lubes aren't as good as the others, or whether it's because you can buy them at Wal-Mart and the sex-toy party people can't make any money off of them. My advice is that you try different lubes to see which ones you like. Most stores that sell sex products offer samplers of different sex lubes. And finally, what if you like to have intercourse in the hot tub or bath? With all that water around, you would think the last thing in the world that you need is something to keep a woman wet with. Unfortunately, the water washes away a woman's sexual lubrication. This can make intercourse in water feel dry. My advice is to try silicone-based sex lubes. Slop it on while your sex parts are still dry. While not oil-based, the silicone sex lubes don't wash off nearly as fast. Paul Joannides is the author of Guide To Getting It On, The Universe's
Coolest & Most Informative Book on Sex.
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