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Capsule reviews by Thomas Delapa (TD) as indicated.

Aeon Flux. Stretching right out of her skin-tight spandex, Oscar-winner Charlize Theron is Aeon, an insurgent "Monican" kicking butt for freedom 400 years in the future. Based on the animated MTV series, this lifeless action vehicle might be the result if you downloaded Cirque de Soleil into a three-ring video game. The Paramount studio wisely pulled the plug on advance screenings, sensing that what Catwoman was to Halle Berry, Aeon Flux is to Charlize Theron. With Marton Csokas and Jonny Lee Miller. Rated PG-13. —TD

Bee Season. Despite the advance buzz, you can spell it murky and meandering. Richard Gere stars as a California religious-studies professor who imparts the secrets of the Jewish kabala on his young daughter, Eliza (Flora Cross), who might be a spelling prodigy. If directors Scott McGehee and David Siegel had kept their focus on Eliza and her fanciful skills, this mystical drama might-have-been left audiences spellbound. Instead, the story flies off in too many directions at once. While Eliza's older brother (Max Minghella) dabbles in Hare Krishna, her mother (Juliette Binoche) gradually goes off the deep end, deserting the family for mysterious scavenger hunts. Rated PG-13. —TD

Breakfast on Pluto. Candide goes drag in Neil Jordan's weightless adventure that follows Patrick (Cillian Murphy) from his repressed childhood in troubled Ireland to his flamboyantly gay days in swinging London of the 1970s. Along his picaresque journey, cross-dressing Patrick crosses paths with I.R.A. gunmen, glitter-rockers, hypocritical priests, magicians and maulers, all of them proving to Patrick that straight Earthlings take themselves far too seriously. Jordan takes his fey protagonist the most seriously of all, picturing him as just about the most perfect and true creature in the known universe. With Liam Neeson, Brendan Gleeson and Stephen Rea. Rated R. At Esquire. —TD

Brokeback Mountain. Red River was never like this, pardner. I wouldn't call director Ang Lee's gay-themed breakthrough a "metrosexual" Western, but I reckon it would at least cause John Wayne to roll over in his grave. Then again, what was all that funny business about in Red River when Montgomery Clift and John Ireland compared their six-shooters? Potshots aside, Lee has moved a mountain, or at least nudged it out of the closet. He and screenwriters Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana have taken Annie Proulx's preciously short story and branded it with compassion and humanity. But it's the low-key acting of Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal that takes Brokeback to the heights. In 1963, Ledger's Ennis Del Mar and Gyllenhaal's Jack Twist meet as strapping young cowboys on the Wyoming range. With Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway. Rated R. At Mayan, Chez Artiste, Landmark Crossroads. —TD

Capote. In many contemporary "biopics" the central performance outmuscles the movie. Whether Jamie Foxx in Ray or Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote, uncanny impersonation has become the Holy Grail. As the novelist who penned Breakfast at Tiffany's and In Cold Blood, Hoffman does an impeccable Truman Capote, capturing his fey manners and high-pitched patter. From a book by Gerald Clarke, Bennett Miller's film underlines the five-year period in which Capote wrote his ground-breaking 1966 "nonfiction novel," In Cold Blood. Capote doesn't pan out as full-bodied biography, but it does spin a cautionary tale of cold-blooded journalism. In Miller's view, Capote made a Faustian bargain with fame that sentenced him to his own private prison. With Catherine Keener. Rated R. At Mayan. —TD

Cheaper by the Dozen 2. The Baker family, all 14 of them, returns for another round of campy fun, literally, when Dad (Steve Martin) persuades them all to go on a weekend trip to Lake Winnetka. There's at least a Baker's dozen of laughs in this tart and knowing comedy about the ups and downs of family life in modern times. At the lake, Dad renews his rivalry with filthy-rich Jimmy Murtaugh (Eugene Levy), possibly the coolest dad in the world. In training for the Labor Day meet that pits the Bakers against the Murtaughs, Martin orders his kids to bulk up and get down to business. But director Adam Shankman drops the ball at the finish line, jettisoning the tough-love fun for cheap sentimentality. With Bonnie Hunt, Hilary Duff and Carmen Electra, Rated PG. At Colony Square. —TD

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. When Disney and billionaire Philip Anschutz's Walden Media teamed up to produce Narnia, they must have hoped for a roaring kiddie version of The Lord of the Rings. Shades of the emperor's new clothes. What they've tattered together instead is this year's Around the World in 80 Days--without Jackie Chan. To make a long (two-and-a-half hour) story short, Narnia is nada. Stuffed with digital effects, this bland family flick is so bad, it makes Bad Santa look good. It's seems clear that director Andrew Adamson got his marching orders from Walden to stage the Armageddon ending a la Lord of the Rings, yet spun with a Christian jihad undertow. I'm surprised Mel Gibson wasn't hired to guest-direct the crucifixion scene. With Tilda Swinton. Rated PG. At Colony Square, UA Village 4. —TD

The Constant Gardener. Frequently those innocuous taglines dreamed up by studio flacks tell you all you need to know about a movie. But not always. Across a misty picture of Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener, bold letters declare, "Love. At Any Cost." In small print, the ad should add, "Manure included. At no extra charge." Based on a novel by John Le Carre, this international mystery is overgrown with treachery and dirty politics. If director Fernando Meirelles' style were any murkier, audiences would have to bring flashlights and a shovel. Brooding across two continents, Fiennes plays a British diplomat in Kenya who embarks on obsessive quest to dig up the truth behind his wife's death. With Danny Huston. Rated R. At Starz Film Center. —TD

The Family Stone. A holiday comedy that's more rock than roll. Writer/director Thomas Bezucha gathers a hefty cast in the story of one woman's ill-fated Christmas trip to meet her fiancé's parents. Unconvincingly uptight, Sarah Jessica Parker stars as Meredith, brought home to New England by Everett (Dermot Mulroney) to meet his mom (Diane Keaton) and the unwelcoming rest of the Stone family. Showered with such gifts as Rachel McAdams, Claire Danes and Luke Wilson in support, Bezucha surprisingly squeezes precious few laughs out of his syrupy yuletide cider. He shamelessly mixes in an excess of cloying flavors, from inter-racial gay romance to life-threatening illness. Rated PG-13. At Landmark Crossroads, Colony Square. —TD

Fun with Dick and Jane. See Jim Carrey run. See Jim Carrey hilariously ad-lib. See Jim Carrey run his routine into the ground. Carrey and Tea Leoni star in a ramshackle remake of the 1977 Jane Fonda/George Segal comedy. For this unemployed Dick and Jane, desperate times call for desperate measures. When Dick loses his job at an Enron-like energy firm, he and Jane team up as Bonnie and Clyde with disguises and his-and-her water pistols. With Carrey at the wheel, this topical romp has a cutting edge that takes a stab at dog-eat-dog America in the era of compassionate conservatism. But director Dean Parisot should have used a leash to rein Carrey in. The couple's unfunny final caper to rob Dick's greed-head boss (Alec Baldwin) leaves the audience holding the bag. Rated PG-13. At Colony Square, UA Village 4. —TD

Good Night, And Good Luck. In a 1958 speech by the legendary newsman, Edward R. Murrow warned of the "decadence and escapism" that threatened to turn TV into a vast wasteland. You don't need a TV Guide to tell you that Murrow's prophesy fell upon deaf ears. Good Night is actor/director George Clooney's salutary ode to Murrow, who in 1954 famously took on Sen. Joseph McCarthy on national TV. It was one of television's finest half-hours, a bright spot in the darkest years of McCarthyism. What this history lesson gains in immediacy, it loses in breadth. Clooney keeps his camera moored inside the CBS studios, as Murrow (David Strathairn) his producer Fred Friendly (Clooney) and crew shoot their live "See It Now" shows. Clooney's masterstroke is his decision to let McCarthy "play" himself. Rated PG. At Esquire. —TD

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. In his fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) takes a class in the dark art of curses. I matriculated from Goblet of Fire muttering a few curses myself--few of them printable. My cup runneth over with tedium during this 2 1/2 hour supernatural slog, in which Harry enrolls in the angst of adolescence. Forget evil Lord Voldemort. Harry's scariest task is finding a date to go to his first dance. Following the pattern of the other Potter pictures, director Mike Newell and writer Steve Kloves serve up an adaptation that's slavish to Rowling's overstuffed book. Cloves is so reverential to Rowling, he might as well be adapting the Bible for Focus on the Family. With Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Brendan Gleeson and Michael Gambon. Rated PG-13. At Colony Square. —TD

Just Friends. Chris (Ryan Reynolds) knows all about being banished to the dreaded "friend zone" by women. As a flabby high schooler, Chris took it on the chin (both of them) when his adored Jamie (Amy Smart) blurted out that she loved him...like a brother. Ten years later, Chris has lost his paunch and returns to his New Jersey hometown as a jet-setting L.A. music executive. With Reynolds mugging and rolling his eyes from coast to coast, this friendly teen frolic doesn't need any enemies. Playing a dizzy pop tart in the Christina Aguilera mold, Anna Faris just about nails every scene that she's in. Despite his talents as a punching bag, Reynolds should be sentenced to the hack-acting zone. With Chris Klein. Rated PG-13. Rated PG-13. —TD

King Kong. The king is dead, long live the king. King Kong, that is. Director Peter Jackson's spectacular remake will have Hollywood asking, "Where does a 6000-pound gorilla sit?" The answer, of course, is "Anywhere he wants." Given the regal stature of the 1933 original, the world would have survived without this digitally dominated version by the Lord of the Rings overlord. But even naysayers will have to hail the technical achievements thundering through all this monkey business. Jackson's 1930s New York City takes us back to the brilliance of the Great White Way, as well as to the dark tones of the Great Depression. Soulfully sexy Naomi Watts takes Fay Wray's iconic role as Ann Darrow, the blonde beauty to Kong's beast. Yet Jackson slips on a few banana peels in this overlong, three-hour epic, which goes ape for the CGI effects. With Jack Black and Adrien Brody. Rated PG-13. At Colony Square, Landmark Crossroads. —TD

Memoirs of a Geisha. Nitta Sayuri story of how she transcended her fishing-village roots to become one of Japan's most celebrated geishas. Rated PG-13. At Landmark Crossroads, Colony Square.

Paradise Now. Not only do suicide bombers go straight to heaven, but virgins also await them with open arms. Whatever the upside-down theology, for West Bank Palestinians Said (Kais Nashef) and Khaled (Ali Suliman), the time for action has come. In director Hany Abu-Assad's reflective drama, these two Muslims are given a second chance at life when their mission is called off. While this is a timely analysis of the mindset of terrorism, it's also talky and rhetorical. Abu-Nassad's strength is not all the speeches but rather his location shooting in the West Bank, which is as far from paradise as you can get. Rated PG13. At Starz Film Center. —TD

Pride & Prejudice. For a writing career that lasted only 12 years and produced six novels, the Jane Austen legacy on screen has been phenomenal. If Austen were alive today she'd be sipping martinis in Hollywood with John Grisham. In Pride & Prejudice, Elizabeth "Lizzie" Bennet (Kiera Knightley) is a young woman suffering from both. Sparks fly the moment Lizzie meets the snobby Darcy (Matthew MacFadyen). Director Joe Wright has crafted a classical treatment, but it's a dry one. Knightley adroitly handles Austen's dialogue, yet her vivacity and beauty overwhelm the role. Deep down, Knightley is a tin Lizzie, long on looks but short on ladylike grace. Maybe MacFadyen was cast to offset Knightley's spunk, but he's too sulky for even Darcy. With Donald Sutherland and Brenda Blethyn. Rated PG. At Chez Artiste, Esquire. —TD

The Producers. For a complete review, please see Screen. Rated PG-13. Opens Sunday.

Rent. "But will it play in Peoria?" The old show-biz query was never more in order when it comes to the 1996 Pulitzer Prize-winning musical about drug addicts, drag queens, gays and AIDS. Jonathan Larson's play may be loosely based on Puccini's La Boheme, but otherwise its furnishings are almost hysterically postmodern. For the neo-bohemians in 1980s New York City, life is no cabaret. In a derelict—but amazingly roomy—loft, Mark (Anthony Rapp) and Roger (Adam Pascal) wage a daily battle to keep their landlord (Taye Diggs) at bay. Mark's girlfriend (Idina Menzel) has left him for a lesbian lover (Tracie Thomas). No, this isn't Guys and Dolls—though it might be the outré flip side of Friends. Simply on the basis of its middling, over-amplified music, Rent gains no new lease on life on the screen. It's too completely a play borne of a Reagan-era, in-your-face attitude determined to flip off straight society. With Rosario Dawson. Rated PG-13. —TD

Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic. The taboo-smashing stand-up comic takes nothing lying down, whether it's sex, AIDS, race, teen pregnancy, 9/11 or aging. Don't be fooled by the girlish looks and Little Orphan Annie voice. Almost everything out of Silverman's mouth would turn Daddy Warbucks' face a beet red. If there's a method to Silverman's madness, it's to yank down the holy curtain that hides the nasty truths of life in these United States. Sprinkled with musical spoofs, Silverman's raunchy onslaught is only 65 minutes long. Any more of her routine might drive audiences either to the showers or to church. Rated R. At Chez Artiste. —TD

Shopgirl. Can the comic behind The Jerk reinvent himself as the author of novella that some have compared to the works of Jane Austen? I hope I'm not being either proud or prejudicial, but I think the answer is, "No." Steve Martin is a funny guy, but no one who saw his version of Silas Marner (1994's Simple Twist of Fate) will confuse him with Mark Twain. In Shopgirl, Martin tries to sell us the idea that he's at least the West Coast Woody Allen. Audiences should keep their receipts. Director Anand's Tucker's adaptation offers a fine performance by Claire Danes as an L.A. store clerk who falls in love with an older man. But Tucker should have sent back the vanity casting of Martin as Danes' lover. No matter how many times we see Martin flying in his Learjet, I couldn't buy him as a brooding tycoon. With Jason Schwartzman. Rated R. At Dtarz Film Center. —TD

Syriana. What Traffic was to the drug trade, Syriana is to the international oil industry. But the analogy is a slippery one. For all its topical plotting and far-flung locations, writer/ director Stephen Gaghan's geo-political drama runs on fumes. Adapted from a book by Robert Baer, Syriana sets out to drill deep into the sinister complexities of Big Oil. From Texas to Kazakhstan, Gaghan weaves a sprawling story-line that connects the dots between Mideast oil, Enron-slick energy corporations, oily lawyers and the CIA. At one pole is CIA agent Bob Barnes (George Clooney). In Zurich, an industry analyst (Matt Damon) is hired by the royal family of an oil-rich Arab country. Like a pedantic history teacher, Gaghan hits all his points, and digs at the usual suspects. Whether you follow the oil or the money, as drama Syriana is a dry well. With Jeffrey Wright and Christopher Plummer. Rated R. At Colony Square, Landmark Crossroads. —TD

Ushpizin. Billed as the first film made by members of Israeli's ultra-orthodox Hassidic community, this contemporary parable might be Job gone to Jerusalem. On the eve of the holy day of Succoth, Moshe (Shuli Rand) and wife Malli (Michal Rand) miraculously receive the money to celebrate the holiday properly. But both their patience and love are tested when they are visited by two freeloaders, one of whom is Moshe's friend from his darker days. Director Giddi Yar frames the couple's trial in near biblical terms, and, if not miraculous, this import provides a tightly focused keyhole view into a closed religious world. Rated PG. At Starz Film Center. —TD

Walk the Line. If you look on the bright side, you could say that there are only two problems ambling through director James Mangold's biopic of country singer Johnny Cash. The first is that Joaquin Phoenix seems to be impersonating Johnny Rotten, not Johnny Cash. The second is that Phoenix's singing stinks. Mangold's glum portrait may drop off the charts in a hurry, especially for those familiar with Cash's life and music. As singer June Carter, Reese Witherspoon evidently was Mangold's first choice; Phoenix, with his twisted expressions, should have been his last. Rarely have I seen a movie in which the co-star so runs away with the spotlight and hides as Witherspoon does here. June Carter was instrumental in saving Cash from his drug-addicted oblivion. Wither- spoon can't save Phoenix from going down, down, down in a burning ring of fire. He is not reborn in his own ashes. Rated PG-13. At UA Village 4. —TD

Wolf Creek. Three Australian campers get stuck up the creek without a paddle when they stumble into the lair of a serial killer in sheep's clothing. The film the Australian tourist council doesn't want you see, mate, Wolf Creek is only a slight cut above the standard American slasher picture. Director Greg McLean takes his three naive victims on a meandering journey to hell, escorted by a folksy stranger who's the sick side of Crocodile Dundee. Yet once the kids are in the clutches of the madman, McLean quickly resorts to gruesome screen sadism and soggy plot turns that are only excuses for further rounds of mayhem. Rated R. —TD

Yours, Mine and Ours. Family values on steroids. What's a single dad like Frank (Dennis Quaid) to do with eight kids? Marry Helen (Rene Russo), of course, who has ten children of her own, and live happily ever after. Well, not quite. This noisy remake of the 1968 Henry Fonda/Lucille Ball comedy may have you asking, "Where's Planned Parenthood when you need it?" While he gets the custody of two veteran leads and a pack of cute kids, director Raja Gosnell spoils most of his resources, resorting to tacky slapstick that would even embarrass Lucy. The butt of most of the gags, Quaid is sloppily kissed by a pig. And we're not talking Pamela Anderson. Rated PG. —TD

WEEKLY VIDEO PICK

Pinocchio (1940). After the brilliant success of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1937, Walt Disney sent his army of animators to work on the famed Italian fairy tale about the puppet who wants to be a boy. Boosted by the Oscar-winning theme song, "When You Wish Upon a Star," Disney got his wish for a cartoon classic that was also the biggest box-office hit of 1940. For today's kids, Pinocchio's tale still has a few lessons, especially for little boys who lie, ditch school and go to amusement parks. In the original story by Collodi, Pinocchio clobbered a cricket who wanted to be his conscience. Uncle Walt would have none of that and pulled a few strings with his writers. The result was that crooning critter, Jiminy Cricket. Rated G. (DVD and VHS) —TD